Everyone should know that I'm doing much better in school. I'm not miserable, merely resigned. There are still moments where I just want to walk out, maybe kill a few students on the way out the door. Then there are the emerging "teacher moments" that I'm supposed to treasure or something. Actually, I did have a really sweet moment at the beginning of my observation. One of my really troubled students leaned over to me with a smile, told me that she had never liked math, but that she really liked learning in my class. I flushed with a bit of pride, as I've really been encouraging her. When I first met her, she was frequently violent, roaring from rage to tears faster than a Ferrari. Our relationship was quite antagonistic at first, I was at my wits' end. I had a talk with her, told her we had to start from scratch. I'm not her friend, but I make sure and jump out in the hallway to say hello to her. Her parents don't speak English, so when I called one evening to tell her parents how proud I was of her improvements, she had to translate for me. She started to cry on the phone, and even I got a bit verklempt.
All of this is extra funny as four minutes after this touching comment in my class, she was in a death struggle with another girl. Apparently the other girl was making rude gestures at her from across the room. Desks are thrust aside in the struggle, my assistant principal and I have to separate the hellcats, and the obscenities make every virgin ear positively whorish. I'll know on Monday how this affected the review. Maybe my AP will just describe it as 'lively.'